Scaling Back: The Proper Guide to Handling a Tantrum "Out of Your Control"

Working with children since age 16, I have had my fair share of handling the worst of tantrums. Common especially in children ages 3-5, tantrums do not come easy, and if handled improperly, can create an unenjoyable experience for both you and the child in question. Tantrums can be incredibly challenging to handle, especially when they are "out of your control." As a parent, teacher, or caregiver, it can be difficult to know how to navigate a child's outburst. However, with the right approach, you can help the child regain control and prevent the situation from escalating further.

The first step in handling a tantrum is to remove the child or other children from the situation, depending on the specific circumstances. This will help to de-escalate the situation and give the child some space to calm down. For example, if a child is having a tantrum in a classroom, you may want to remove them from the classroom and take them to a quieter area, such as the library or a counselor's office. This will give the child a chance to calm down in a less stimulating environment and will also help to prevent the tantrum from spreading to other children.

It's also crucial to be aware of the child's individual triggers, and try to avoid them if possible. For example, if a child is sensitive to loud noises, it's best to take them to a quiet room or place them in noise-canceling headphones. This will help to reduce the child's stress levels and prevent the tantrum from escalating further.

Transitioning to a new activity can also help redirect the child's attention and energy away from the tantrum. For example, if a child is having a tantrum in the middle of a math lesson, you might transition to a different activity, such as drawing or playing with blocks. This will give the child something else to focus on and will also help to distract them from the tantrum. It's also important to ensure that the new activity is age-appropriate and engaging for the child.

It's also crucial to ensure that parents and other children are not entering the space where the child is having a tantrum. This can further exacerbate the situation and make it more difficult for the child to calm down. If possible, create a barrier or use a door to separate the child from others. This will give the child a sense of privacy and will also help to prevent the tantrum from spreading to other children.

Another key step in handling a tantrum is to remove any objects that may cause harm. This can include things like sharp objects, fragile items, or anything else that could be dangerous. This will help to keep the child and others safe during the tantrum. It's also important to make sure that the child is in a safe place, such as a room with soft surfaces or a carpeted floor. This will help to prevent the child from getting hurt if they fall during the tantrum. If the child is not in a safe place, try toweling the floor, and be on constant alert. Remember, it is ok to intervene and physically move the child if they are in an unsafe situation.

Providing resources during a tantrum is also crucial. A sensory box can be a great resource to help calm the child down. A sensory box is a collection of items that can be used to engage the child's senses and help them focus on something other than the tantrum. These items can include things like play-doh, kinetic sand, pop-its, and other tactile items with unique feels. Sensory boxes can be tailored to the child's individual needs and can be a great tool to help them calm down. Headphones can also be a helpful resource during a tantrum. They can be used to block out noise and other distractions, and provide the child with a sense of calm. However, try to refrain from including any overstimulating electronic device, such as an iPad or smartwatch, as it can condition your child into using tantrums as a means of communication to use these items. Additionally, having a parent, sibling, or friend nearby can provide the child with a sense of comfort and security.

In conclusion, handling a tantrum "out of your control" may actually be quite in your control. It can be challenging, but it is possible to de-escalate the situation and help the child regain control. By removing the child or other children from the situation, transitioning to a new activity